Thanks.

I actually do give a thank.

First, thank you all very, very much for all the incredible and thoughtful comments that were left on my recent personal post. It’s incredibly comforting (but also sad) to know we’re all having some of the same feelings of anger and grief. Thank you for sharing and commiserating and for keeping it civil. I didn’t respond to everyone because, honestly, I’m still feeling some kind of way about it. We have a long road ahead and I’m hoping we can all stick together to navigate what lies ahead. In the meantime, I’ve been trying to focus on things that make me feel good. Here are some things that help me unclench a little:

Lift Heavy Weights.
I lift weights in a locally owned warehouse gym with a class format three times a week and it helps so much. I started to write about it but wasn’t sure anyone cares about this. (If you do, I am happy to write a lot about it!) Listen, I get it if you aren’t a gym person or have bad knees or whatever but I promise that everyone can do some version of heavy lifting (“heavy” is relative) and that it’s one of the best things you can do for your physical and mental health. Dumb little walks¹ are also really good but trust me when I say that your bones need to be put under pressure to built density and your muscles will be very happy to be used appropriately, especially if you sit at a desk all day. ALSO, it wears me the fuck out so I sleep better. 

Read for Pleasure (Without Your Phone.)
I have this terrible habit having my phone close while I’m reading so I can look up anything I’m reading about (a place, a word I don’t know, etc) and then suddenly I’ve been scrolling Instagram for ten minutes and what just happened. My phone is a total wonder killer and lately I’ve just been telling myself it’s okay to JUST WONDER and not have an immediate answer to everything. It’s okay! So now I try to read my book and put my phone somewhere else. Retrain your brain to concentrate on one task and enjoy it fully. It’s hard but we used to do this and we can do it again. 

Stack Your Social Media Deck.
Okay, I know I just told you to put your phone away but Instagram is my favorite form of social media even if it’s a bad boyfriend. If deleting the social media apps helps you, do that. For me, I’ve tried instead to make it less terrible. First, I unfollowed any account that isn’t it for me anymore. Next, I stopped clicking on shitty stuff and trained the algorithm to show me what you like, which is currently weird AI cozy cabin rooms, mountain biking reels, and this amazing account that’s literally just wild animals crossing a log in the woods in Massachusetts. What will it be today? Bears? A wolf? A fox? It’s so soothing. Also, if you’re not following the National Parks Service IG you are missing out. 

Go Touch Things.
Listen, I am the worst at wanting a dopamine hit from buying something and the internet makes it so so so EASY. I don’t even have to put my card info in! It just knows! This makes it all feel like you aren’t actually spending money, right? Woof. So, once in a while when I’m feeling shoppy but don’t actually need anything, I will take myself to the thrift store for an hour and look at every damn thing in the store. I start in bags, move to shoes, then pick categories at random - jeans, blazers, sweaters, books, whatever feels right. Usually I find nothing but sometimes I find really good stuff. I used to flip my good-but-not-my-size finds on Poshmark but now I just look for myself, mostly. It’s relaxing and amusing and sometimes I find something really nostalgic that takes me back to a time, you know? Like, I found a pair of Blue Cult Gwyneth super low rise jeans that I would’ve KILLED for 20 years ago. These jeans. (I did not buy them.)

Watch Something Weird.
We’ve been watching all the old 1970s episodes of the Muppet Show (on Disney+) and y’all. IT IS UNHINGED. I firmly believe every single person involved was on drugs because there is no other logical explanation. It’s incredibly weird, often inappropriate, and a really good time. My favorite thing to do is to research the guest as we watch, especially if I’m unfamiliar.. My favorite episodes so far have been Pearl Bailey, Julie Andrews, and Ethel Merman. I also very much enjoyed Dale Evans and Roy Rogers. There was one episode (so far) that was too mime-heavy so we ended up skipping that one but otherwise I’m fully into the weirdness that was 1970s entertainment. Also, the Swedish Chef is forever my favorite. Bork Bork Bork. 

If All Else Fails.
You know what’s fun? Cue up a really good Angry/Sad Lady belt-it-out song from the olden days ("If It Makes You Happy" and “You Oughta Know” are good ones) and take your car through the car wash. Buy the ultimate package with Rain-X, I give you permission. Once you’re in, really crank up the stereo and sing along as the full sensory experience of the car wash drowns everything else out. Sometimes it’s the best five minutes you can give yourself. 

1. I started doing what I call “dumb little walks” every day during the pandemic just to get out of the house and was finally like, okay, there’s something to this. Sometimes my walks are a restorative 30 minute easy pace while listening to an audio book and sometimes they’re an hour of marching up and down steep hills (we got lots here) and it’s a workout. It doesn’t matter which you do, just go outside and move. You’ll feel better. 

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