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Leandra's avatar

I've got two kids, both "grown," and I love them more than life itself, but I will be the first to admit that they make life harder in a lot of different ways. Are there rewards, sure. And again, I love them, but we are in a hard place with both of them right now and so things maybe feel a bit harder than at others. I feel like this is a safe space where they won't see my comments, so I can say that there are times I've had "Sliding Doors" fantasies (iykyk) of what my life would have been like had I not had them.

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Tiffany's avatar

I have three kids and while I do not regret having them, I do regret swallowing the BS that you get married, you buy a house, you have kids because what else is there? I regret that no one tells you to heal your generational trauma first. There's only talk of diapers and sleepless nights, not of the bigger issues you'll deal with later. Bullying, sexual abuse, depression, their failures and struggles that break your heart (but you put on a smile), letting them go. My kids have all told me they don't want to have kids, for varied reasons, and at first, I was hurt (thinking I was such a horrible mom that they didn't want to be the same way to their kids) but now I get it. The world is on fire and instead of vilifying childfree people, maybe we should thank them for both their population control and for their understanding that we. cannot. go. on. as. we. have. Resources are not infinite and we are failing the children already on this planet every single day. How many more have to be born just to die in a classroom, or of neglect, or in war?

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