The Coolest Job I Ever Had.

When I was in high school my first real job was bagging groceries at a local grocery store. It was an excellent first job because they were used to employing students and were willing to train me. What it wasn’t was cool. When you’re 17, bagging groceries and wheeling them out to cars is deeply, deeply uncool. I did it for a year and then set my sights on the job I really wanted: popcorn slinging flapper. Oh, you read that right. I wanted to work with the cool kids at the Byrd Theatre.

The Byrd Theatre was built in 1928 and is still completely stunning if a little time-worn around the edges. It’s a single screen movie theater that has been in almost constant operation since it opened. The concession stand was staffed by a bunch of arty cool college-aged girls who dressed in period flapper costume. I could not imagine a better fit for me. I wanted in.

I went in person and applied. I was told to check back in a few days, so I did. The box office guy told me he would check in with the manager Michael and call me. He didn’t call me so I went back in person again. Still nothing. I waited a few more days and went back yet again. This time he told me “Michael said if you showed up again I should just hire you.” FINALLY. BEING REALLY ANNOYING HAS PAID OFF¹.

I started working at the Byrd Theatre in summer of 1989. At that point they had an exclusive contract with Disney² because all the big theater chains were boycotting and missing out on such delights as Turner & Hooch.

Me and the other cool ladies would serve up popcorn, candy and sodas, adding the totals up in our head because we didn’t have cash registers. Once the movie started, we’d chain-smoke Camel Lights and play cards on the stairs in our flapper finery. I had so much fun with the outfits and most of us did our hair and makeup in an exaggerated 1920s style to match. I’m not sure, but I don’t think they do this anymore.

For the next year or so The Byrd was the only theater in town showing first run films by Disney which was great and also horrible. We premiered Dick Tracy, Batman, and The Little Mermaid, which was fun. Unfortunately we also suffered Pretty Woman³ for four and a half months. Just Pretty Woman, every showtime, every single day for 138 days. I have never hated a movie more.

My time working at the Byrd went through a lot of changes - management changed, ownership changed, and when the boycott ended we stopped showing first run movies and started showing second run, which I liked because it was something new nearly every week. We showed art and classic film matinees on the weekends so I got to see a ton of movies I’d otherwise never have been exposed to. It was quite the education.

There were hijinks. Late night parties, drinking and making out in the balcony, stuff that I’ve conveniently blocked out or only heard rumors about. My favorite story involves a guy named Jay who worked there in the summer of 1994. On his last evening of work before returning to college, he decided to strip down and streak through the theater during a showing of The River Wild. He ran, completely naked, all the way down the far aisle, across the front and back up the main aisle. Y’all, not one patron complained or said a word.

The theater itself has main character energy and the people who work there are there because they love it. (It certainly wasn’t for the money! We were all making peanuts.) I was not the only one who had a deep love for this place - it has, as the kids say, a vibe. It felt like a living creature and it knew we loved it and it loved us back. It’s a special place.

I’ve seen parts of the theater that most folks don’t get to see - the projection booth, the fresh water spring in the basement, and once, I’m pretty sure, the ghost who’s said to haunt the theater. It’s a place that has seen a lot and been through a lot. I am still deeply fond of it.

1. Ha! I think I made $4.25 an hour plus free popcorn, which I now hate. Eventually I was promoted to floor manager making a whopping $4.75 an hour.

2. And affiliated companies including Buena Vista and Touchstone

3. Y’all, this is a deeply terrible movie and doesn’t get better with repeated forced viewings. I hate it and nothing you say will change my mind.