Confession Time.

On Sunday, I drove an hour to my favorite trail system and rode my mountain bike. This is not news Adrien, you think, this is a thing you do all the time.

Ha. The last time I did this was seven months ago. It’s been SEVEN MONTHS since I rode my bike outside. I am actually embarrassed to type this but there it is: seven months. Before this the longest stretch off my bike was six months because I broke my foot, an actual good reason for not doing this thing I love. I’ve been trying to figure out the why this time and it’s not any one thing, it’s a list of things:

• Weather. The weather here from mid-October to May is consistently cold and wet. I know a lot of people in the PNW think nothing of riding in the rain and cold but I am not cut out for that kind of self-imposed misery. Listen, I’ve done it. I’ve ridden in the rain and the cold. Heck, I once raced in a snowstorm! I have done my time and I’m too old for that shit. I have nothing to prove and I’d prefer to ride when it’s not cold and wet, okay? Okay.

• Solitude. I’ve made some really excellent friends here but it’s been a struggle to find mountain biking friends¹. I don’t mind riding alone but it’s so much easier to get convinced to do something, weather be damned, when you have someone to do it with you.

• Convenience. My Peloton bike has made me lazy. Listen, I know. I KNOW. Any of you who are outdoor cyclists just cringed and I know but hear me out: in the middle of winter I can jump on my Peloton bike and 45 minutes later I’m a happy sweaty mess with the good endorphins all up in my brain. It’s nowhere near the same thing as riding outside but the convenience is hard to resist.

• Inconvenience. There isn’t any singletrack closer than a 40 minute drive and my favorite 40-minutes-away trails are currently closed due to logging, a process that’s been going on for a year and a half. Some of the trail systems are in areas with no cell service, which is not an option for a solo ride. So, my best, safe option is a little more than an hour away, which means an average ride takes a good chunk of the day.

• Depression. I am maybe a little depressed. Mostly it’s Seasonal Affective Disorder which always hits me much later than I expect. You’d think I’d be super down in January but it usually hits in April because my brain is expecting it to be warm and sunny and it’s most definitely not. But also, this year has been fucking tough. It started with the MAGA horrors, then we lost Lucy, then we threw ourselves into a majorly stressful life change (still current) so there’s been a lot going on.

Anyway, I decided this past weekend was The Weekend. The weather looked decent, my bike was dusted off, chain oiled, tires inflated, good to go. Still, I almost talked myself out of it because I was nervous. I am so out of biking shape. I am going to be sore. My ass is going to hurt. What if I fall and hurt myself and lie in the woods with no one to rescue me? So embarrassing.

I overrode my doubts and packed the car - helmet, shoes, gloves, glasses, small cooler with snacks, Camelbak, change of clothes. It’s so much stuff, JUST GET IN THE CAR ALREADY. I got in the car and I drove there and got on my bike and started to pedal up the four mile fire road to the trailhead. It’s all uphill and generally takes me between 36-40 minutes. I took my time because I know my fitness is lacking and also, what’s the rush? It took me 43 minutes. Fine.

I stopped at the top for a few minutes to rest and then dropped into one of the most beautiful trails I’ve ever ridden - it’s a twisty flow trail through old growth firs, ferns, wildflowers, and moss. Very Ewok forest. I love it there. It’s worth the drive, the time, the effort. I was happy to discover I still had all my bike handling skills and I enjoyed the ride immensely. Back at the parking lot I was sweaty and tired and, yes, my ass hurt, but so glad I’d made the effort (seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me) and I will miss these trails so much.

That said, I’ve been exploring the mountain bike community in the Charlotte area and I think I’m going to have a much easier time finding people to ride with. There are tons of “all are welcome” group rides, women-specific rides, and, best of all, a 10 mile mountain bike trail system that’s fifteen minutes from our new house. It’s not full of PNW magic but it is right there. Hopefully I’ll never wait eight months before I ride my bike again.

1. I have made one really wonderful friend who mountain bikes but she moved to Bend. I’ve been able to visit and ride with her a few times, which has been great and I will miss her a lot. (Hi, if you’re reading this!)